Most couples spend months choosing an engagement ring they will wear every day for the rest of their lives. The wedding ring gets sorted once the venue is booked, sometimes almost as a formality. Then it arrives and sometimes it can catch on jumpers, or sits awkwardly against the engagement ring, or turns out to be a width that looked right in the display case and wrong on a hand.
That usually happens because the ring was chosen on looks alone. A wedding ring has to work as well as look good, whether you'll still like it in fifteen years: the metal, the width and profile, whether it has stones, and how those stones are held.
The metal decides how the ring ages
Across a counter, the white metals look much the same, but they age in very different ways.
Yellow and rose gold
These are the classic choice. The colour comes from the alloy itself rather than a surface finish, so it doesn't change. The ring will mark and scratch over time like any gold, but you'll never need to have anything applied to it to keep it looking the way it did on the first day.
White gold
White gold is gold alloyed with white metals such as palladium and silver, and it's usually plated with rhodium to get that final bright white shade. The rhodium wears away gradually and the ring needs replating every now and then. This catches out more new white gold owners than anything else. Nothing has gone wrong with the ring when it happens, and replating is routine maintenance, not a repair. We've explained the whole process in why white gold turns yellow.
Platinum
Platinum is heavy, and you'll feel it. Its density is 21.45 grams per cubic centimetre. The London Bullion Market Association puts 18 carat gold (with equal parts silver and copper) at about 15.4, and 9 carat gold at around 11. So a platinum ring is noticeably heavier than the same ring in 18 carat gold, and roughly twice the weight of it in 9 carat. Some people love having that weight on their finger. Others are aware of it all day. Handle both before you decide.
It wears differently too. When gold is scratched it loses a little metal, so over the years a band slowly thins. Platinum pushes the metal aside instead, leaving small ridges along the edges of the scratch rather than shedding it. Over time those build up into the soft satin finish the trade calls patina. You might love it or you might prefer a high polish, but either way the ring isn't damaged.
Palladium
Palladium is the least known of the four, and we think it's overlooked. GIA describes it as strong, light and hypoallergenic.. At around 12 grams per cubic centimetre it's far lighter than platinum, and it's naturally white, so there's no plating to keep up. If you want a white ring without the weight or the replating, it's well worth asking about, even though few people are ever offered it. There's a fuller comparison in palladium versus platinum versus white gold and in our wedding ring metals comparison.
If your skin is sensitive, it helps to know that the EU's REACH regulation limits how much nickel can be released by items worn in prolonged contact with skin, and that includes finger rings. If you've reacted to jewellery in the past, tell us when you're choosing. We've written about nickel in jewellery separately.
Check the hallmark before you leave the shop
Whichever metal you go for, the hallmark is what proves it. In Ireland, hallmarking is governed by the Hallmarking Act 1981 (as amended), and the marks are applied by the Assay Office of Ireland at Dublin Castle. The Assay Office states that every article of silver, palladium, gold and platinum sold in Ireland must be assayed and hallmarked, with no exemption for weight. The UK is more relaxed, and light items there can legally go unmarked. Here, you should expect to see marks even on a very slim band.
There are three marks to look for: the maker's mark, which identifies who was responsible for the piece; Hibernia, the mark of the Dublin Assay Office; and the fineness mark, which gives the metal content in parts per thousand. Under the 2019 fineness regulations, 9 carat gold reads 375 and 18 carat reads 750. Platinum is commonly 950, and palladium is hallmarked at 500, 950 or 999.
Width and profile matter more than photos suggest
Width is the easiest thing to get wrong from a picture. A band on a white background looks nothing like the same band next to your engagement ring, on your own hand. The only way to judge it is to try a few widths on alongside whatever ring it will sit beside.
Profile is the shape of the band in cross section, and jewellers describe it with terms like court, D shape and flat. What you're really choosing is how the inside edge meets your finger. A rounded inner edge slides on and off more easily and tends to be less noticeable through the day. A flat inner edge grips more and sits more squarely. There's no right answer here, so go with whichever one you feel most comfortable with.
If your engagement ring has a raised or angled setting, a straight band may not sit flush against it, and you'll end up with a gap or two rings rubbing against each other. Shaped or fitted bands are made for exactly this, and we cover them in our guide to shaped wedding rings. There's also a full piece on choosing a wedding ring that matches your engagement ring, which is worth reading before you settle on a width.
Diamonds: how many, and how they're held
A plain band is the most durable ring you can wear, and every stone you add is one more thing to look after. That's no reason to avoid a diamond set band, but it is a good reason to choose the setting carefully.
First, size. GIA defines a metric carat as 200 milligrams, divided into 100 points. Carat measures weight, not how wide the stone looks from above, and GIA points out that a 0.99 carat diamond is hard to tell apart from a 1.00 carat stone by eye, even though the price can differ significantly. On a wedding band, where the stones are usually small and set in a row, the cut and spacing tell you much more about how the ring will look than the total carat weight does.
GIA grades colour from D to Z, running from colourless at D through near colourless, faint, very light and light. Clarity has eleven grades, from Flawless down through Very Very Slightly Included, Very Slightly Included, Slightly Included and Included, all judged at ten times magnification. With the small stones in most wedding bands you won't see the differences at the top of those scales with the naked eye, so your budget usually goes further elsewhere.
The setting is where your day-to-day life comes in. Below is how GIA describes each of the main options, and it's worth reading them with your own working week in mind.
Channel setting
A row of stones sits in a narrow groove, held between two parallel walls of metal. GIA considers it well suited to everyday wear, though it can be harder to resize, especially if the stones run a long way around the band.
Pavé setting
Small stones are set close together to create a continuous surface of sparkle. GIA notes that pavé may need occasional maintenance to keep the stones secure and can be harder to resize, because adjusting the ring can disturb the stones. It also picks up dirt more easily, so it needs cleaning more often.
Claw or prong setting
Narrow strips of metal are bent over the edge of each stone. GIA advises checking the prongs occasionally, warns that raised edges can catch on fabric, and says prongs may need re-tipping over time.
Bezel setting
A thin rim of metal surrounds the stone. GIA credits it with excellent resistance to chips and everyday wear, and the smooth edge is less likely to catch on clothes or gloves.
Flush setting
The stone is set directly into the metal, with its top level with the surface of the band. GIA calls it highly durable and unlikely to catch, which makes it a practical choice if you work with your hands. The trade-off is that less light gets into the stone than with a bezel or prong setting.
If you spend your days lifting, gardening, pulling on gloves or looking after children, a flush setting makes the most sense, and claws are the ones that will need attention. If your hands have an easier time of it, any of these will do the job.
Ask about resizing before you buy
Fingers change size over the years and a wedding ring is meant to last, so it's worth asking about resizing on day one rather than finding out later.
As GIA's notes on channel and pavé settings suggest, stones set far around a band limit what a jeweller can do later, because resizing means cutting and rejoining plain metal. A band with stones across the top third and plain metal underneath can usually be adjusted without much trouble. A band set all the way round is a different job, and that's one of the practical trade-offs to weigh if you like that look. Our piece on eternity rings covers where the style came from and what it's meant to signify.
If you do need a ring resized, our ring resizing page explains what's involved.
Where to start
Choose the metal for how you want it to age, not for how it looks under shop lights. Try widths on against your engagement ring instead of picking from a screen. Match the setting to how you use your hands, ask what resizing would involve in ten years' time, and check the hallmark before you take the ring home.
If you're working out a budget, we've set out what couples here actually spend in how much wedding rings cost in Ireland. And if you're buying as a pair, the companion to this piece is our complete guide to men's wedding rings in Dublin.
When you're ready, visit us in Dublin to try some on, 5 Mary Street, Dublin City Centre, D01K2V8.